Umm....

Subject - Umm....
Date - October,1st,2008
Time - 10:19 pm
Watching - What ever happened to baby Jane?
Feeling - Better, but still weird
Weight - 138 (Better, ++ I did forget and only weigh my self in the evening)

Hey Byotches!

I feel better tonight, more in control of my life.

I feel like I shouldn't have mentioned the whole S.C. lunch thing the way I did, now P.L. thinks I'm all exited about it and just faking that I don't wanna go , but Seriously , This causes me stress (Wow I am *such* a social reject)


FYI: S.C. (wow, I never realised we have the same initials) invited me to her home for lunch on Friday after writing (I said yes btw) and then I told P.L. and then it got kinda weird and then she reminded me she was going to be going to Ashley's house tomorrow night and staying till Friday and because of these we might not get to go see one of the movies we've been planning on seeing for like a week, and then things got kinda weird again and I don't even know whats going on anymore and I don't know why I feel like this, it's like I'm spinning out of control, and now that I've realised it I can't even talk to her about it because she has already gone to bed and I won't talk to her till Friday because she's going to be with Ashley.

I don't know what I'm going to do, but when I started writing this I was happy,

Why every time I feel inadequate do I feel the need to compensate by being a bitch, why do I have such a strong defense system to block everyone else when the problem is that I'm feeling left out?


Love, Writer girl